“Normal” and “Entitlement”

Part of the reason I love road trips is that you leave the "bubble" of what you know and realize that there are tons of other bubbles all around that you know nothing about and are just driving through. These bubbles that I pass are peoples lives; some people never leave them. Each one is quite different, and holds a lot of value to the people who live there. It makes my own world seem smaller and more manageable knowing that there are people living full lives all around me in ways that I can't even imagine. It's like those photos of the universe that people keep posting on social media. Our bubble isn't really the entire universe, although sometimes we think/feel that way. 

Having had my family and me move around a lot has given me the great opportunity to find myself identifying with and appreciating a bunch of different bubbles. Some of these location bubbles include: Columbus OH, Pittsburgh PA (x3), Durham NC, Oxford ENG, Seattle WA, Austin TX (x2), Atlanta GA, Essex CT, Baltimore MD. I only fully claim Seattle, Austin & Pittsburgh as I never got fully assimilated into the other bubbles, and it makes it a lot simpler of a conversation.

People always ask me which place has been my favorite – it’s a difficult question because it requires a pretty harsh judgment. It's like asking me if growing up a preacher's kid was a good experience - how can I answer that? It's the only thing I experienced, so yeah it worked for me. How am I supposed to compare it with anything else? 

Each place I've lived has great things about it and not so great things about it. Also, places never stay the same, so it’s hard to compare these places as they are now, I can only compare them as I experienced them when I was a certain age and the city was at a certain point in its development. Judgment also requires comparisons of the “norms” of each location, such as:

•        What is the weather like for each season
•        What is the focus of the community
•        What are the people like
•        What are the jobs like
•        What are the recreational activities and how good are they

Each bubble, whether it be a location, culture, group, team, club...etc has its “norms” that people get used to, and even expect. When that norm doesn’t happen or starts to change people can get upset. After all it’s going against the norm and, after a while, we can start to feel entitled to having that same experience!

The trip I’m on is all about learning about other rowing clubs. Just as all communities form norms, so do rowing communities. I’m finding it fascinating already and am incredibly excited about comparing these as I continue on my trip.

In Pittsburgh at TRRA some basic norms for masters rowers are:

•        To compete in 4 sprint races and 3-4 head races each year
•        To primarily, if only, go out with supervised/coached practices
•        To have a focus on sweep rowing 
•        To be able to go out most any time/any day pending conditions if certified or with a coach
•        To volunteer, but rely on staff for operation

Some differences with GCRA in Columbus are:

•        To compete in a couple races a year - and to have to self-organize these
•        To primarily, if only, go out with unsupervised practices that are self-organized by members
•        To rarely sweep row
•        To not be able to go out after 10am on weekends
•        To volunteer and volunteer more in order to ensure operations (no paid staff)

These are normal every day things that people accept and work with on a daily basis. If these clubs were to switch for a day everyone would be lost and confused, but each one works for that club and that environment.

Norms are necessary because they set up regulations, rules, a basis for how things work. However, these can change – just like cities grow. I mean look at the difference between Pittsburgh 30 years ago to now. It has changed and people have adjusted. 

The key to adjustment is to try to erase the sense of entitlement that sometimes comes with some of the day-to-day norms. 

Think about it

1.       If you feel entitled to something the BEST CASE SCENARIO is that you get what you were expecting. That’s it! The WORST CASE SCENARIO is that you get pissed off when you don’t get it
2.       If you eliminate your sense of entitlement the BEST CASE SCENARIO is that you are thankful for what you get! The WORST CASE SCENARIO is that nothing happens – after all, you weren’t expecting anything so no harm no foul. 

Which way of thinking will leave you happy/content regardless of what happens?

It’s good to go around and see the normal behavior and situations of other bubbles because it makes me realize that I live in just a bubble. The bubble can break and everything will still be okay – just different, and different is not necessarily bad.